


Cherry Blossoms

by sullyintheskywdiamonds



Category: iKON (Kpop)
Genre: M/M, Magic, Psychic, mindreading, that kinda crap
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-08
Updated: 2016-01-28
Packaged: 2018-05-12 14:52:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 16,727
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5669947
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sullyintheskywdiamonds/pseuds/sullyintheskywdiamonds
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bobby can't read Hanbins mind. Until he can.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Harvest Moon

**Author's Note:**

> So .. this is gonna be chaptered? I haven't written anything chaptered yet so will see how it turns out!  
> A lil angst here and there maybe. Hope I have a funny bone so this will have a lil humor too!

It's 5.40 am when Bobby wakes up. 

He can't remember why. A distcint smell of cherry and cigarettes hazes his mind and he falls back asleep only to hear the alarm clock 10 minutes later.

 

*  
They're sitting at the breakfast table. Donghyuk made eggs and toast. He glows when Yunhyeong remarks that it's good. Bobby snorts.

"So, what's in store for today? Some sorta filming?" Yunghyeong's chewing with his mouth wide open and Bobby wants to smack him.

Hanbin stays quiet. Everyone's waiting for an answer and when Bobby looks up at him, Hanbin startles from his thoughts.

"Uh.. ask Bobby or Jinhwan. I gotta go rehearse a song." 

And then he's gone. Junhoe quirks his eyebrows at Bobby who's way too sleepy to ponder about what's bugging Hanbin this time. They continue eating in silence.

 

*  
"What you're saying is that this psychic lady's gonna read our future? And this won't even air?"

Junhoe quirks his brows, trying not to stare at the small woman drinking tea next to them.

"Yeah pretty much," Jinhwan appears next to him. Bobby feels thankful of his nosyness for once.

"I think it's gonna air after our debut's died down? A little special something for the Ikonicks and us to look back on." He laughs and Bobby realises how much he wants the laughter to come from Hanbin.

Who's still MIA.

"And then were probably gonna do a V App show reactin to our fortunes. Promo for her, promo for us. Everybody wins."

Jinhwan nudges him and he nods. 

Junhoe seems satisfied with that, leaving them to chat.

"So.. what's up with Hanbin?" 

Bobby shrugs his shoulders. A distinctive smell of blooming cherry blossoms hits his nose and Bobby wonders if he's still dreaming. 

"Hey, you still there?" Jinhwan looks worried but waits for an answer anyway.

"Yeah, uhh I've got no idea what I did this time. I guess he just needs 'space' or whatever." 

Bobby plays it cool but can't stop sniffing around. Jinhwan looks at him like he's going crazy.

"Well you know how he is. He really does need space. I can talk to him, if you want me to?" 

"Nah, it's cool. He'll come around." Bobby knows it's a lie but he says it anyway. Hanbin hasn't been the same for a month now. All he wants is to know what's wrong but he wont talk to him. He needs his space. 

Jinhwan pats his shoulder, tossing him a worried look over his shoulder when he leaves. Bobby stares wistfully at the coffee pot. He should move too.


	2. Having Part of You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A cherry tree starts growing inside him.

Hanbin appears right as their filming's about to start.

Bobby stares at him, hoping that'd he'd look back. Hanbin doesn't.

"Where were you?" Chanwoo looks like a worried puppy and a sudden urge to shut him up emerges from Bobby. 

"Fixing my songs. Are we starting?" Hanbin sounds tired. Bobby wants to corner him and ask why he's doing this to himself. Why won't he talk. But instead he walks to Jinhwan, having small talk about the new kdrama Jinhwan's obsessed with. 

  
*

Everything's the same in front of the camera. Except Bobby can see how Hanbin's avoiding his gaze once again. Making jokes with Junhoe or Yunghyeong. Even sitting next to Chanwoo for ultimate distance. 

The reading goes well. Until his fortune is being told.

All of a sudden he's once again surrounded by the smell of cherry blossoms. He's pretty sure they don't even have a smell. But it's so strong and Bobby doesn't want to lose his mind, so he ignores it.

"Great things lie ahead of you. Love is about to blossom within." Everyone coos at that and Bobby forces a laugh out of his throat, that now feels constricted. He can smell the cherry on his own breath. 

For a moment there he feels as if a cherry tree is growing inside of him, ready to burst out of his mouth any second.

"But be aware. Mysteries and misunderstandings are waiting by the corner." The old lady looks at her tea leaves and then up at him. Bobby's eyes widen as panic settles itself in his stomach. She smiles and Bobby can feel the tree roots nesting around his heart. 

"Be careful what you wish for." 

  
*  
Bobby looks at the guy's chatting and starting to leave. He gulps down some more water, wishing this day would end. He can still smell cherries and it's now becoming nauseating. He just wants to know what Hanbin's thinking, what it is that bothers him. 

Jinhwan comes over to remind him that they're going to practice. 

"You don't look so good. Want me to get you something?"

Jinhwan touches his forehead, hissing at the way Bobby's heating up.

"Shit you have a fever!" That should explain the weird feelings he's had all day, Bobby reckons.

"Let's get you home." Jihwan goes running for their manager while Bobby sighs to himself.

Wishing he'd know what goes through Hanbin's mind. And then he passes out. 

  
*  
It's 5.40 am. 

Bobby doesn't know why he woke up. The cherries are gone but this time he can smell cigarettes. It's as if someone is smoking right next to him.

And then he hears it.

_This should go here... and that there. Okay so it sounds good? Of course it does Hanbin, you've been working on it all day - Shit I need an ashtray-_

And it keeps going. Bobby doesn't get why Hanbin's talking so loudly. It feels as if he's screaming inside Bobby's head. 

His fever must be really high.

Bobby stumbles into the living room only to see the darkness. How come Hanbins still screaming? Why isn't anyone else awake? 

He notices the balcony door slightly open. He can tell its Hanbin just by his silhouette. The orange glow of the sunrise makes his features seem softer than they actually are. Bobby snorts at his cheesy thoughts but then stops in his tracks.

Hanbin isn't talking. He's not saying a single word. And Bobby can still hear him. 

 


	3. Wish You Were Here

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Slow angsty mess.

He stumbles into the balcony door, momentarily thrown by the fact that _yes_ \- he, Kim Jiwon, can read minds. 

Hanbin startles and Bobby wants everything to be as it used to. He wants his best friend to smile when he sees him, grab him by the shoulders and give him a hug. Ask him to listen to some beats he worked on or lyrics he wrote.

Instead Hanbin gives him a cold glare.

_What is he doing here?_

"Sorry, I-uh," Bobby scratches his nape trying to think of an excuse that is not 'Hey I can hear what you're thinking! Isn't that cool?'

Hanbin stares at him and suddenly there's silence. Until -

_The nervous tick. Something's up, what if he knows -_

Bobby drops his hand and Hanbin quirks an eyebrow.

"Just wanted to get some water. You okay?" 

"Yeah."

_No. I wish you'd just leave._

Bobby feels like he's been punched in the gut. 

As he steps back into the living room, with a fake smile on his face, he can hear Hanbin thinking of a new melody and his own heart breaking.

  
*  
It's 7.30. 

Yunhyeong kicks open his door and Jinhwan carries in a bowl of hot soup. Bobby wants to barf, not cause he's sick but..soup? In the morning?

"Here you go. Feelin any better?" 

He nods.

The older touches his forehead and Bobby can see the pure surprise on his face.

"You're not heating up at all. You sure you're good?"

"Yeah I'm sure, _mom_." 

  
*  
In the end Jinhwan makes him eat every single drop, even though he feels perfectly fine.

"It's for your own good, _son_."

Stomach full and the guys gone, he can finally think. And he hopes that last night, this morning, was only a bad dream.

_Fuck, what if Bobby's still out of shape? What am I gonna say to the manager? Fuck I can- Where's my toothbrush?-_

Only it isn't.

  
*  
Breakfast is awkward. Bobby swears he feels fine but even Junhoe, who's concentrated on playing Candy Crush, can tell he's still shaken.

He does feel fine. The faint smell of cherries is back, reminding him more of a memory. He hopes it stays that way.

As soon as Hanbin enters the room, Bobby wants to evaporate. He spent the last 30 minutes listening to his thoughts on blue cheese and Bigbang's MADE tour. 

_Fuck, where are all the clean shirts?_

Another thing Bobby struggles with, is not answering every question Hanbin asks himself. 

"Hanbin, what'd you think? Should Bobby stay home today? He looks pale, doesn't he?"

Hanbin raises his gaze, startled by Bobby's presence.

_Fuck, he looks so -_

"I'm fine! I told you, I'm good to go." Bobby laughs and hopes it looks sincere. He takes note on how he's been staring at Hanbin the whole time. Who's neck is now a lovely shade of pink. 

For a fleeting moment, Bobby swears the smell of cherries is oozing from every pore on his skin. 

"He can come, If he want's to." Hanbin grabs a shirt and then he's gone. 

  
*  
In the car, when everyone's asleep, he starts thinking.

Freaking out. 

He hadn't even noticed how alone he felt until this moment. He's going through something that isn't even real, _can't_ be real, yet it's happening. He can't tell anyone about it, since they'd think he's insane. And worst of all, he can't tell his best friend.

His best friend, that hasn't been there for him in months. His best friend that he can only connect to because of this freaky magical shit that's happening to him.  
He want's to know why this happened in the first place. And why, out of all people, is Hanbin the one who's thoughts he hears, when his are the thoughts that hurt him most. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this chapter was slow and all but the next one will be more funny and less angsty.  
> Also I just had to drag it out a bit until Bobby hears the envitable - spoiler- that hanbin is crushing on him.  
> This fic will probably contain mature content!


	4. Wild Horses

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Roasting on an open fire.

The performance goes badly.

Bobby's way too occupied with being in tune to Hanbin.

_2 steps in, 5 steps back, here comes Donghyuk-_

It's hard to concentrate. Hanbin's voice is solid in his mind and especially loud when it comes down to their rap. 

Hanbin wraps his arms around him, like every other time they perform Dumb & Dumber, grinding on him ever so lightly. Bobby smiles, the lights of the cameras and konbats blurring his vision just a tiny bit. 

But he still sees the moment Hanbin jerks his hips forward and stares him down, almost as If he's challenging Bobby to do the same. 

And then he hears it. So very clearly. Knocking the air right out if his already breathless lungs.

_God, he looks so beautiful. Just wear that leather jacket forever. Nothing else. Maybe a little hairspray here and there but -_

Bobby stutters, trying to continue on with the performance. The bright red konbats remind him of cherries and the way Hanbin's skin burns when Bobby looks at him. 

They're dancing wildly now. He smiles and laughs, conveying to everyone that he's fine. Donghyuk still gives him a worried glance.

Hanbin is dancing in the middle of a Junhoe and Yunhyeong sandwich. Bobby gets jerked out of his own thoughts by Hanbins hands on his shoulders, replacing Yunhyeong with him.

His vision starts to blur as he smells the cherries again. They're not a memory, no, they're right there. He can feel the roots of the tree, what he only hopes is imaginary, squeezing tighter around his heart.

Hanbin's greedy fingers find his nape, grabbing him strongly.

Bobby can simultaneously feel the burn of Hanbin's gaze and hear the echoes of his thoughts. 

_I can't stop touching him, fuck he's gonna notice and then... what's gonna happen?_

The performance ends with Bobby trying to remember how to breathe.

  
*  
In the evening, when Hanbin's asleep, and everyone else is too occupied with falling asleep, he thinks.

Thinks of how this happened to him. Thinks of the phantom tree growing inside of him. 

Thinks of Hanbin and what his thoughts actually mean.

Thinks of how his best friend is.. is.. attracted to him _-maybe even in love with him?-_ and he never noticed. 

Thinks of how this could have all been avoided if Hanbin had told him. Maybe. But that's just it. 

He knows Hanbin. Knows how much he worries and works himself up over the littlest things. Knows how he needs someone else to figure it out before he can speak.

He's needed Bobby to figure this out a long time ago and instead he sat on his ass,blaming Hanbin for neclegting him, not once considering that this could be serious. That he's the one who should take action.

But he can't confront him. Not now, not _ever_. 

He could try and get his best friend back, that's a good plan, but he can't make Hanbin confess. 

It would be too risky, with the mind reading and everything. At least that's what he tries to convince himself of. 

  
*  
It's 5.40 am. 

Bobby wakes up to the smell of cherries and a memory of dark black hair between his fingers. 

The strange sense of deja vu fills him up, until there's no more room left for him to breathe.

  
*  
Bobby feels more like himself than he has in a while. Maybe it's because Hanbin is still asleep or maybe it's because Donghyuk didn't make breakfast this time. 

He keeps thinking of the dream he had. And then he remembers.

The day of the psychic filming, he woke up to cigarettes... and cherries. There has to be a connection between all of this and _all_ he has to do is find the lady!

Bobby wants to jump up from the table and scream in joy. Instead he grabs Jinhwan's cheek,  giving him a slightly wet peck.

"It's only 6 in the morning Bob, I'm not ready to deal with this shit," Jihwan smacks him in the leg "And for god's sake brush your teeth!" 

Bobby laughs loudly. Everything is seemingly going back to normal.

And then he jerks when Hanbin stirs up in his bed, Bobby's name on his silenced lips. 

  
*  
He tries avoiding Hanbin as best as possible. He'll win back his best friend tomorrow, okay? 

Today he has to deal with the psychic lady.

Everything starts making sense. He had that dream and went to the studio. _Cherries_. He invisions the old lady back in her chair, looking at those damned tea leaves. He can see the moment so clearly, the way his heart stuttered in his chest and his eyes locked with Hanbin's, for the briefest of moments. _Be careful what you wish for._

  
*  
It's their day off and no one's gone outside so far. Junhoe is still sleeping, Yunghyeong is trying to rap along to T.O.P in Fantastic Baby and everyone else is just lounging around. 

It's been hours since Bobby started to rewind the days in his head and blocking Hanbin's needy voice, that was getting louder by the minute. 

"Are you sure you're fine?" 

Bobby enters the kitchen just to see Donghyuk eyeing him suspiciously behind his glass of orange juice. 

_Ain't no sunshine when she's gone -_

"Yeah, why'd you ask?" Bobby doesn't like being interrogated, especially by his own bandmates and especially when his head's  filled with Hanbin's voice, singing along horribly to any song he could remember.

"I don't know. You just seem kinda," He makes a vague gesture with his hands "Dazed lately. That's all."

Hanbin enters the room just as he's about to answer.

Bobby swears that there's an imaginary salesman, spraying the latest cherry scented YSL perfume onto his face, everytime he even tries to forget of this unfortunate situation.

Hanbin isn't wearing a shirt. Bobby takes note on how his skin looks _sunkissed_ before it turns pink in embarrassment again.

"Leader! Have you been working out?" Donghyuk jokes and chugs his juice in one go.

_Why is he staring at me?_

Now it's Bobby's cheeks that are ever so slightly burning up

"No, I haven't. Well If you count almost dying of exhaustion in dance practice as working out then.. Yeah, yeah I have!" 

Donghyuk fake laughs at Hanbin's joke and Bobby wants to smack him for not understanding the rapper lines' fine sense of humor.

 Donghyuk turns to grab at Hanbin's bicep in a joking manner and Bobby can tell he's shooting daggers with his eyes but can't help it.

The knot in his stomach is wound up tighter than ever.

Hanbin turns to look at him with a smile, which hasn't happened in a while, but stops in his tracks.

_Is he jealous?_

Bobby can almost hear the gasp that never leaves those lips.

Hanbin smirks at no one in particular, probably at his own thoughts and Bobby can't stand the smug look on his face.

"What do you think Hyung?" 

"No, I'm not." is followed quickly by Donghyuk's innocent "Doesn't our leader deserve an award for their effort?"

The words get tangled in a mess and he swears he can hear the gasp for real this time.

Hanbin frowns so hard that Bobby thinks he might get premature wrinkles. Donghyuk just looks confused.

"I mean't yeah, yeah he does deserve an award. Maybe it can be a movie night? Your pick?" 

He turns to look at Hanbin who's still trying to collect himself.

_It's just a coincidence. Don't worry. He doesn't know._

In the end Hanbin agrees to the movie night without making eye contact with him. 

_Golden raisins or warm roasted chestnuts or - Yes. Golden Raisins. His skin would taste like raisins and smell like heat, amber...and-and honey._

Bobby tries not to focus too hard on Hanbin's words.

*  
Turns out the old lady is much harder to find than he thought. Especially without using the help of their manager. He can't possibly explain _why_ he needs to see her.

But he does.

Googling her name only brings up a homepage and an address located in...Thailand. 

He groans, rolling the word _sunkissed_ around in his mouth until it reeks of cherries.

 


	5. Rocketship

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> we'll fall in love  
> as we pass the sun

It's movie night. 

Bobby wants to go back in time and stop himself from suggesting it in the first place.

The day's been rough on him already. Performing Dumb & Dumber is somehow so much more troubling when he can hear Hanbin thinking about the way Bobby's knuckles brushed against his shoulder or how he wants to lick the drops of sweat off of his neck.

*

Hanbin's movie choice is their mutual favorite Die Hard. 

Bobby remembers his promise to himself, to win his best friend back, so he sits next to him.

Hanbin looks like he's just seen a ghost when Bobby starts nudging him toward Yunghyeong to get some space.

He hasn't been this close to Hanbin in a while. The same thought echoes in Hanbin's head as well.

_God, I'll never survive this movie._

  
*

Bobby's hand is thrown over Hanbin's shoulder nonchalantly and his feet are propped up on Chanwoo's lap. 

He's enjoying the movie and seems like Hanbin is too. Except for the few times he strays and starts daydreaming. 

_I can't believe we've done this so many times. And all those times I've been looking at Bobby with these stupid puppy dog eyes. Fuck why am I so lovesick._

For the first time since this happened, Bobby feels compelled to listen to him. 

_If only I could've gotten rid of these stupid feelings-_

Bobby stares at their huge TV screen, his heart suddenly plummeting in his chest. 

Hanbin has feelings for him. It's not teenage hormones it's.. 

_How the hell do I tell him that 'Hey you know,could you sit the furthest away from me as possible cause I kind of really want to kiss you right now and you're not making this easier on me?'_

He kind of hopes that the rapid thumping of his heartbeat would tear down those stupid cherry tree roots. 

  
*

The movie is starting to end and Hanbin is daydreaming again. Bobby listens carefully, unaware of how much he wants to know what Hanbin really thinks and feels about him.

_Oh my god. Last year was so embarrassing. We watched this scene together one night. Sprawled on the couch right there where Junhoe is sitting -_

Bobby turns his head way too fast but thankfully Hanbin is caught up in his own mind. Bobby takes note on how his fingers are  gripping Hanbin's shoulder too tightly.

_-And he looked so good. Just sitting there, his head on my lap and laughing over Bruce Willis. Honestly Hanbin, why didn't you admit to yourself that that was the moment you fell in love? Things could have been so much easier. I could've stayed away If I'd known. If I'd just listened to myself._

Bobby doesn't want to hear anymore. He remembers that evening, clear as day. 

They _were_ sprawled on the couch and he _was_ sitting with his head on Hanbin's lap. He recalls the way Hanbin had let his fingers run through his hair and there was something in his eyes that Bobby thought was just pure joy. Turns out it was joy of being with _him_. 

  
*

His heartbeat has slowed down enough for Bobby to feel the roots tightening again. His brain is foggy and overwhelmed by everything he heard.

The movie's over and Hanbin turns to look at him, the tips of his ears bright pink and Bobby wants to smother himself with a pillow cause they remind him of cherries again, the scent heavy in his nostrils.

"You wanna go for a smoke?" He hears himself say and Hanbin's pale cheeks turn the same shade of pink as his ears.

"Uh, yeah but you don't smoke?" 

Bobby grabs his snapback and smacks Hanbin with it.

"How would you know, you've been ignoring me forever. Now let's go."

Hanbin looks startled but nods. 

_What's going on?_

  
*  
Bobby can hear Hanbin screaming in his mind, panicking about being alone with him.

It's disheartening. They're just standing on the balcony, nothing else and Hanbin's already planning to leap off of the edge. 

Jinhwan interrups them just as Bobby's about to speak. 

"Hey Hanbin," 

He looks at Bobby and then at their leader.

"Wow! I never thought I'd see you guys together. Guess you're done moping?" 

He pokes at Hanbin's shoulder and the other seemingly relaxes.

"I haven't been moping!" He tries to sound serious but both Bobby and Jinhwan laugh.

"I guess I'll leave you to it." 

_DON'T GO!_

Bobby winces.

"What did you want?"

"Nothing, doesn't matter. You guys talk or whatever."

And with that Jinhwan leaves them to an awkward silence.

*  
 

Bobby'll take everything he can to get rid of the increasingly strong smell of cherries so he smokes.

Hanbin looks startled for a while but then accepts it.

They don't talk about much and Bobby listens to his thoughts. 

Bit by bit they get less panicky.

"Honestly If you're gonna start smoking then you'll have to buy your own pack. I'm not sharing." 

Hanbin looks out into the darkened sky with a small smirk on his face. Even though it's cold outside, his cheeks are still a bit flushed and Bobby hates how he can't stop thinking about cherries.

For a moment he almost bursts out laughing, thinking of how if their roles were reversed Hanbin would probably hear nothing but the word 'cherries' going around in Bobby's mind and think he'd gone crazy.

"Jealous much?"

Hanbin pouts his lip and acts offended while Bobby laughs his heart out. 

"They cost a lot okay!" 

_Kiss that smile off his face, do it Hanbin, just do it-_

Bobby stops laughing.

  
*

They've been inseparable ever since Bobby made that first move. Hanbin's cold exterior crumbled, just like Bobby's favorite clay mug from when his first high school sweetheart threw it at his feet after a horrible breakup.

They're playing Candy Crush on Hanbin's phone, waiting to start filming Happy Together.

Bobby tries to act less nervous than he actually is but Hanbin's anxiety-ridden thoughts aren't helping. 

Bobby's basically sitting on Hanbin's lap and he's gotten used to hearing Hanbin compliment his figure or his eyes or his everything. 

He would rather not think of how weird this situation is.

Hanbin's already got his outfit on and Bobby has to admit he looks good. Hanbin had eyed him a lot when he came out the dressing room and Bobby tried to keep the smile on his face even when he heard -

_amber and heat and honey_

\- repeating itself in Hanbin's mind.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you guys like it! This chapter was written while obsessively listening to Motley Crue's ''Rocketship'' and that's where the chapter summary comes from as well :)


	6. Rocket

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> you rock hard  
> i rock steady

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooo.. this is a longer chapter and I hope you like it! Mature content ahead!

Happy Together is a blur.

At first it's fun. They get to talk, laugh at the jokes and Bobby can't stop staring at Sandara Park. 

He thinks it's cause they haven't been near ladies in a while.

Hanbin's hair looks softer than ever and Bobby likes it. It hugs his face in all the right places, makes him look younger and vulnerable. 

They get asked about dates and Bobby hates talking about dating. Not just because he's been out of the dating scene in forever but now he can hear Hanbin's thoughts. 

_Nice, Hanbin. Now everyone knows you're a lonely loser._

They suffocate him. 

  
*

Bobby tries his best to act like everything's normal but it's hard to concentrate on everyone else when all he wants is to comfort Hanbin. 

 _God, I can't believe this. Here I am, sitting near beautiful women and all I want to do is kiss this loser next to me._  

Bobby laughs at something Yoo Jaesuk said, not even hearing it. 

His heart plummets at Hanbin's next thought.

_And Bobby's had so much experience compared to me. Honestly, he's a born ladies man he loves the ladies! Stop thinking of him stop liking him -_

He rests his hand reassuringly on Hanbin's knee and smiles at him. 

_-stop._

  
*

 They start singing "My Type" and Bobby can see the genuine smile on Hanbin's face. It's so pure and joyous and he thinks back to the evening in front of their TV, when Hanbin fell in love with him.

He's been walking around in a cherry scented cloud ever since they've gotten closer. There's not a single moment in his day where he can't smell the cherries.

But right now they're suffocating him. He's finding it hard to breathe and for a moment he thinks that the cherry tree might be real, finally bursting through to his lungs and he's dying. Dying cause there's no more room for anything but the tree.

Hanbin jerks him out of his thoughts with his sleeve covered hand. 

His gaze says everything but Bobby can hear it too.

_Is he okay?_

Bobby gives Hanbin a small nod and they continue goofing around. 

  
*

After they've finished filming a noona comes over to ask Hanbin about his little dance in Running Man. 

To everyone else he might look confident but Bobby can see the tips of his ears turning bright pink and his fingers fidgeting with the sleeves. 

 _I can't say no when everyone's staring. Fuck_. 

In the end Hanbin agrees to re-enact his routine for five pairs of eyes. All of them female except for Bobby.

He thinks of how last time Hanbin did the dance, he didn't have the unfortunate ability to listen to his thoughts. And he could actually smell something other than cherries.

The first notes start and Bobby tries to suppress a giggle. He can't believe Hanbin danced to this on television. 

_Wont you sit that -_

Hanbin is singing along in his mind and Bobby's giggle turns into a bright smile. 

It's hypnotizing watching him dance so passionately to a silly song like this. 

He tosses away the long sleeved jacket and Bobby doesn't even notice himself gasp. Underneath it is only a thin tank top, nothing else. Even his tattoos are visible and Bobby thinks he's gone crazy.

His sunkissed skin is wearing a deep blush that's moving down to his almost uncovered chest. 

The noona's giggle, just like he did, but for reasons he doesn't even want to know. 

Hanbin rolls his hips and locks his gaze with Bobby's. 

_Send all your sins all over me babe-_

He wants to smack Hanbin when he realizes that he's going to be the replacement for Ji Hyo.

Bobby tries his best to hold onto the smile that's trying to slip off of his face and make him gape. 

Hanbin is so very close and their gazes are still locked to each other. 

His palms are sweating and his pulse skyrockets when Hanbin starts thrusting his hips forward. This is so not what he was expecting of this day. 

_Thank you noona's._

  
_*_

The song ends and Bobby laughs. The noona's are all blushing wickedly and Bobby thinks he might look the same.

"What'd you think?" 

Hanbin is smiling, bending down to grab his shirt.

Bobby takes a mental note on how the curve of his ass looks in skinny jeans.

_I can't believe I did this. Congratulations Hanbin, you danced in front of your best friend to a song that can only be called 'erotic'. Great way to confess your feelings bro._

Bobby let's out a strangled laugh, the collar of his shirt suddenly too tight around his neck.

"It was," 

Hanbin looks at him, his brow a little sweaty and his face glowing. Bobby doesn't notice how close they're standing until he smells Hanbin's sweat, that's sweet and airy and reminds him again of stupid cherries.  

_Is he checking me out?_

Bobby starts coughing and croaks out an "It was amazing!" Until he realises that it sounds too eager.

"I mean great. Good. It was good."  

Hanbin laughs at him, head thrown back, eyes sincere. 

His skin is still glistening when they step back into the van.

  
*

It's 5.40 am. 

Bobby's gotten used to waking up at this hour to dreams he can't remember.

Someone's already bustling around and Bobby hopes it's not Hanbin.

_We fall in love as we pass the sun-_

It is. And Bobby's kinda scared of how perfectly he can picture Hanbin standing on the balcony, a coffee in his hands and the rising sun in his eyes, thinking about him. 

  
*

He walks into the living room only to see Hanbin, a towel wrapped around his neck, doing exactly what he imagined. 

_Us sitting there. My hands in his hair. His lips around my-_

Bobby coughs to escape that next sentence.

Hanbin jerks

"Hey, why aren't you sleeping?"

He turns around, skin literally being kissed by the sun. Bobby holds in a groan, forcing a smile on his face. 

"I could ask you the same thing." 

_It took me an hour to get the pillow creases out of my cheek and here he comes, looking like an actual supermodel._

He smiles again, this time even wider. 

"Was working on some lyrics that just wouldn't leave me alone." 

Hanbin throws his cigarette bud over the edge and walks back to the kitchen, starting another pot of coffee.

"You wanna shower first or can I go?" 

Bobby tries grabbing a cup but Hanbin's already there. Tiptoeing over him, enveloping Bobby in a cloud of cherry. He thinks he can actually see the blossoms forming around them but turns out it's Hanbin's towel that's poked him in the eye. 

"No uh, you can go first."

His heart is beating out of his chest again as Hanbin stands behind him, his arms going around Bobby to fill the cup with coffee. 

_Outta sight oh so outta sight-_

Hanbin's chest is pressed firmly against him and his upper arms are a plethora of pink. Bobby doesn't have to be a genius to know that Hanbin's got a full body blush going on. 

 Removing himself from Bobby, Hanbin brushes his fingers gently against his sweatshirt covered hip. The warmth of his hand burning through the thick layer.

"Shall we eat?"

  
 *

They eventually start talking when Bobby gets over his awkwardness. Everyone's still asleep and it's just the two of them. Morning light fills the apartment with an orange glow and Hanbin is thinking again. Bobby hates it when he thinks. 

 He tries not to memorize the way Hanbin's features looked in the sunlight. Or the way his sunkissed skin turned pinker and pinker under Bobby's gaze. Or the way his eyes sparkled when Bobby joked about their Happy Together experience. Or the way he looked at Bobby with so much sincerity in his eyes, eating a freaking cherry yogurt, thinking-

_\- If I'd wake up to this every morning, I'd literally be the luckiest man in the world._

 He doesn't memorize it. He lives it.

  
*

Hanbin goes for a shower after they've joked about Chanwoo for the hundredth time. 

Bobby sits in the kitchen for a few more minutes. Unable to move as he takes in all that happened. 

Hanbin really is in love with him. Bobby can't be. He just can't.

  
*

Slowly but surely, the group starts waking up and Bobby excuses himself to take a nap.

In reality he sits there playing on his phone until his lazy ass finally decides to get under the blankets.

Then he hears it. 

_Bobby-_

He's not sure what's happening. Hanbin's thoughts start coming in a rapid speed as realization dawn's on Bobby. He's still in the shower.

_His hands on my skin, the way he smells -_

Bobby's eyes widen with panic. Hanbin is.. he's .. 

_On top of me. His hand's in my hair. Gahh - his ass -_

Bobby's phone slumps from his hands, eyes staring at the ceiling. Hanbin's jerking off to him. 

_Throwing me on the bed. Pushing my legs up over his shoulders- God his neck. HIS NECK.  Glistening with sweat -_

Bobby's mouth goes dry as he remembers the way Hanbin had danced to him yesterday. The way his eyes were feral and passionate. His sunkissed skin -

_Hands. My hands on his ass. Pushing down those stupid pants he wears, god, the smell the smell of honey and amber and heat -_

Bobby wants to yank his own hair out until he feels it. Oh god. 

_Breath on my neck, teeth in my skin, lips, those darned lips, everywhere -_

He's.. he's hard. The door's still unlocked. Bobby reasons with himself. He's a young dude, it's normal for him to get exited over the littlest things. 

His breath hitches in his throat when Hanbin moans out his name. Bobby's not sure if he screamed it out loud for everyone to hear or not. He's too far gone.

_Fingers opening me up. Pushing inside. Bobby. Bobby. Bobby-_

His breath comes out in small puffs of cherry, as his hands quiver over pointy hipbones. He can't, he can't. His dick insists that he can, that he has to. 

Junhoe's and Jinhwan's laugh from the living room faintly echoes in his ears. This is too wrong too risky. Hanbin's his _best friend_.

_Long slender fingers. His arms, his veiny muscular arms. His dick replacing his fingers-_

There's a slight pause and Bobby thanks the heavens. His own hand is now pushed deep inside his sweatpants, grabbing hungrily at his own cock. Hanbin is so loud in his mind, his imagination doing the job for both of them.

_Tongue pushing inside my mouth, my sore throat from his huge-_

Bobby can feel himself shake. He stares at the door. No one's there. His fingers flex around his cock, that's now straining against precum soaked sweatpants. 

_My nails in his back. Mine, mine, mine. His bruising kisses on my thighs my chest my-_

Bobby's strokes get faster and harder. His face scrunches up in concentration, trying to focus on himself, Hanbin and the door. His breath reeks of cherries and Bobby almost chokes on it. 

He hears himself moan, thumb sliding over the head of his cock. His mind is producing images of it's own and Bobby wants to slap himself. Want's someone to tell him 'Bad Bobby! No!' but he can't stop. Not now. Not ever. 

Hanbin's mind is chanting his name like it's a religious mantra.

Bobby wants this to end so he can feel guilty in peace.

_My nails. His back, his dick hitting that spot god that spot-_

There's a pause and Bobby makes the mistake of tweaking his nipples. His head lolls back in heavenly pleasure, mouth falling slack as Hanbin keeps silent. Bobby thinks it's over and then -

_His dick instead of my fingers GOD I've seen it it's -_

Bobby makes the mistake of realising that Hanbin's fingering himself and he comes undone, stomach clenching and lips quivering, the cum on his navel reminding him of white cherry blossoms in the early spring.

_FUCK_

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm really selfconcious about writing smut so I hope it turned out okay!


	7. Soak up the Sun

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm looking up, you're looking down.

Bobby makes the mistake of actually falling asleep after his..incident. When Jinhwan comes in yelling , he grabs the blanket quicker than humanly possible.

"Were gonna start moving in 10. Get ready."

Jinhwan eyes him with confusion. Bobby hopes he's safe.

"And please air the room. God it smells like sex and -"

Bobby's face is officially on fire.

"-cherries. Weird. Hurry up!" 

And then he's gone, leaving Bobby suffocating in his embarrassment.

  
*  
He tries avoiding everyone as he runs into the bathroom, dirty sweatpants dangling under his arm. 

Closing the door, Bobby sighs, walk of shame now behind him. 

Even though the rational part of his mind knows that this is _his_ little secret, the other part is still yelling at him that they're all gonna find out. One way or another. 

Scrubbing at the cum stains, all Bobby can think of is the way Hanbin stood in that same shower, water cascading down his body, biting his lip, fingers in his - 

_Where is he?_

He doesn't need another warning sign and before Hanbin can enter, Bobby runs. Runs to the van and runs from his thoughts. 

He hopes to manage another day with this plague called Hanbin. 

  
*  
The drive goes well until Junhoe, sitting between Bobby and Hanbin, decides to ask them a favor.

Bobby's enjoyed the fact that Hanbin's too busy concentrating on his music. He's finally got time to dwell in his thoughts, that keep revolving around guilt and plump lips on very familiar body parts.

"So Bobby," 

Junhoe grabs the headphones out of Hanbin's ears, who can only yelp in protest.

"And Hanbin. I've gathered you both here today,"

There's a snicker from Jinhwan but Bobby still feels like what Junhoe's about to say is somehow going to be very important to him. And maybe in a bad way.

"To announce that I, Goo Junhoe, want to switch rooms." 

Hanbin's face is unreadable but Bobby can hear him whisper in his mind. 

_Oh no.._

Hanbin raises his brows and Bobby's gaze inevitably lands on his lips. And then his fingers. 

"Jinhwan has officially made me his little bitch." 

Another snicker.

Bobby let's his head fall back, eyes closing, as the words leave Junhoe's mouth.

"So.. I was thinking that maybe Hanbin can room with you."

He bumps Bobby's tense shoulder.

"What'd you think?" 

_Deep breaths Hanbin. You can do this. Don't panic._

Bobby takes his advice. 

"I-umm," 

He opens his eyes and stares at Junhoe. Then at Hanbin, who's now nervously twirling his snapback.

 _Please no_.

Licking his lips, Bobby agrees, making sure not to look at Hanbin for the rest of the ride.

  
*  
Dance practice goes well. Considering Bobby has to deal with Hanbin's inner thoughts which consist of -

_\- Junhoe's a dead man. Jinhwan's a dead man. I'm gonna kill everyone. Fuck this. I'm the leader. Why'd Bobby even agree to this? I can't go saying no. They'd figure it out. They'd know I have a huge ass crush on this idiot and then what? Bobby will stop being my friend and everyone else will stay away from me cause you know. I like dick. And they all got one._

_\-  How am I gonna fall asleep when he's just a few freaking centimeters away?_

And Bobby's personal favorite : 

_\- Fuck what If he walks around naked? How am I gonna explain my boner? 'Hey this is just a friendly erection. No hard feelings' ??_

Considering all of that, Bobby really does exceed. 

  
*  
After practice Hanbin talks to their manager and get's him to drive the boys out to eat.

He says it's cause they deserve it but Bobby can hear him. Hanbin just doesn't want to go back home. Ever.

Bobby kind of agrees with that idea.

  
*  
They're at a quiet place near the suburbs. The city's still bustling but they're already tired.

Junhoe feeds Jinhwan a piece of meat from his plate and Bobby can't stop staring at them.

He wishes and prays and hopes that one day, one day, him and Hanbin can go back to that. Back to being friends without anything coming in between them. Feeding each other meat with no real agenda behind it. No feelings. No images of fingers in-

"Onion rings?" 

Chanwoo looks tired but happy. Bobby ruffles his hair in agreement, staring at the way Hanbin's chopsticks disappear into his mouth from the corner of his eye.

  
*  
Donghyuk and Yunhyeong are chatting on the balcony while Hanbin moves his stuff to Bobby's room. 

He tries not to notice the way his skin glistens with little droplets of sweat or the way his biceps flex, grabbing some of the heaviest boxes and notebooks. 

Bobby decides to write an email to the psychic lady. He can't go on like this any longer.

  
*  
Everyone's tired and so is Bobby but he still finds ways to waste time, not wanting to face Hanbin.

He eats a little more, even though he's still full. He channel surfs and even goes for a smoke. 

Finally he checks his email, before grabbing some spare clothes for showering, and he's got a response.

He opens it with shaky hands. The lady, JoonHe, agrees to meet Bobby as soon as she's back in Korea. Which will be in a few days. 

Bobby logs out and deletes his browser history. Just in case. He doesn't need anyone asking questions about this. He just wants it to end.

The cherry tree roots form a knot around his stomach and he feels his heart sink. He reminds himself that it's all for the best.

  
*  
He hasn't heard Hanbin think in a while. Bobby guesses, hopes, that he's asleep.

The bedroom's dark and he doesn't want to switch the light on. The least he needs right now is for Hanbin to wake up.

His luck however decides otherwise.

Stumbling towards his bed, that he hasn't really looked at since this morning, he trips and falls on one of Hanbin's old notebook piles. 

_What the -?_

  
*  
And that's how he ends up staying awake til 2 am. Hanbin's mind's been buzzing with every possible scenario that could happen, now that they're rooming together.

Bobby keeps staring at the ceiling, wishing his heart would stop beating so fast or maybe stop beating at all. Anything to cut the blood support for that stupid tree.

The blossoms keep piling in his stomach and whenever he breaths, they flutter. Bobby doesn't think too hard about the fact that whenever he breaths, it's because of Hanbin.

  
*  
"Stop. Thinking."

He knows, just knows it's probably 4 am already. Hanbin's still not sleeping. Dreaming wide awake.

He's either worrying about their living situation or imagining himself and Bobby in all kinds of scenarios, that he doesn't want to hear.

Hanbin startles. 

_I hate his stupid night voice. It's too deep. Too groggy. I want that voice to..to.._

The thought is left unfinished.

"How'd you know I'm awake?"

Hanbin sounds just as groggy as he does. 

"Come on, I've known you for years. I can tell when you're awake."

Silence.

"Fine. But what can I do about it? I hate this bed. And I hate Junhoe."

Bobby snorts.

_It's all your fault. I can't get you out of my head._

Bobby's still staring at the ceiling. He smiles, the cracks in the old paint forming patterns before his eyes. That coincidentally remind him of cherry blossoms.

He pushes the thought of sunkissed skin out of his head, as far away as possible.

"Come here then."

There's a pause. Too long for it to be comfortable.

Bobby can hear the blood rushing in his ears and it makes him dizzy. 

"Okay."

  
*  
At first Bobby wondered if Hanbin was dead. No thoughts, no nothing. And then they started rushing in. 

As if he wasn't dizzy enough. 

Hanbin had grabbed Bobby's old Pooh bear and pushed it between them.

"Gotta keep it safe." 

Bobby didn't point out how lame that excuse was. 

And now they're lying on his tiny mattress. Hanbin's clammy hands awkwardly holding onto Bobby's sides. 

It feels surreal.

The way Hanbin, the strongest person he knows, is almost shaking with anxiety and fear and excitement. 

The way their collective heartbeats must be deafening the entire neighbourhood.

_What if I wake up to a boner.. Oh my god If Bobby's gonna see -_

"Stop. Thinking."

Hanbin obey's. 

  
*  
Bobby grabs his arms and pulls them around him. It's tight and it's hard to breathe yet somehow the fact that those are Hanbin's fingers, pushing into his ribs, makes it all worth it.

The Pooh bear is pressed against his back way too uncomfortably but he doesn't say anything. It's better if there's some distance between him and Hanbin's bare chest. For the youngers' sake that is. 

Hanbin's hands splay awkwardly over Bobby's toned abdomen. Until he grabs them between his own. 

Making the other jerk.

"Calm down. I can't go to sleep if your cold fingers are jabbing me in the stomach."

Hanbin chokes out something similar to a laugh. 

  
*  
Finally they settle. 

Hanbin relaxing into him, arms thrown lazily over his waist. 

His legs tangled between Bobby's, knees awkwardly pushing against the inside of his thighs. 

Bobby doesn't realize it but they fall asleep with fingers entwined. Hanbins' are still cold, even though his body's like a furnice, letting Bobby soak in it's warmth. 

He thinks of fresh snow and white cherry blossoms. And the way Hanbin falls all around him. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this chapter's so slow!  
> I hope you like it anway!


	8. Sunburn

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We never even thought in the long run

It's 5.40 am.

Bobby wakes up to the scent of cherries and a pair of cold hands on his sensitive thighs. 

For once he doesn't even try to remember what he dreamt of.

*  
When Bobby wakes up the second time, he acts as if he didn't.

Hanbin's already awake.

_Okay but why does he actually smell like honey? I didn't need this information._

Bobby tries to even out his breathing. He's got no idea what time it is or how long Hanbin's been thinking of him. Dreaming of him.

And then something pokes him in the back. 

_Focus Hanbin. F-O-C-U-S. Gotta get out of here before Bobby wakes up and feels your stupid ass boner._

He gulps, trying to figure out if he should let Hanbin think he's asleep or just wake up and pretend none of this happened.

He wants to opt for sleeping but finally the realisation, that yes, that is Hanbin's dick pushing into the curve of his ass, makes him panic. 

He opens one of his eyes. It's already light outside and Bobby wonders how long it'll be until someone walks in on them like this. 

_Okay. I'll just tuck myself back in, slowly retreat from his stupidly handsome body and.. it'll be okay. It has to be._

Bobby feels Hanbin move against him and hears a soft groan fall from his lips. 

Heat pools in his own stomach as it does on his face.

_ABORT! ABORT!_

Both of them are panicking now and Bobby wants to stop his ragged breathing but the situation down his own pants ain't helping. 

The sun is suddenly too bright and Bobby wants to cough out the cherry blossoms resting in his throat.

Hanbin makes another move, this time trying to untangle their arms. 

His fingers graze Bobby's abdomen and make his muscles flex involuntarily. 

_He's waking up. He's waking up. OH GOD OH GOD-_

And then his dick jerks at the proximity of Hanbin and his warmth. Bobby damn's the day he was born. 

He shuts his eyes tight, not picturing Hanbin's hardened nipples against his back. Not at all. 

_Think Hanbin, think. What would GD do?_

  
*  
After a few more minutes, that seem like torturous hours, Bobby decides to fake a couching fit.

His dick throbs painfully in his boxers and he can feel himself starting to sweat.

_God, if you're out there I swear to you- I swear that I'll never watch porn again. I'll never curse. I'll never lie. I'll stop.. I'll stop thinking of him if you just pleasepleaseplease help me out right now. This is Hanbin by the way. The guy you're probably tired of hearing about when he's in trouble. But this time it's different! I swear! I'll even go to church If you'd just -_

Bobby starts violently coughing as Junhoe stomps in. 

Hanbin jumps up screaming 'thank you' a million times in his head and Bobby just heaves out a sigh, his lungs still full of blossoms, feeling like he'd run a marathon.

"You got to enjoy my old ass bed, huh?"

Junhoe grabs something insignificant from one of the closets and snorts. He doesn't even look at them twice. 

Hanbin chokes out something similar to a laugh, his face flushing the same shade of red Bobby imagined it to have after sex.

"Yeah. Remind me that we need to switch mattresses."

Junhoe leaves and so does Bobby, grabbing his towel. Hoping that when Hanbin enters the bathroom after him, he doesn't smell cherries. 

  
*  
Jinhwan's made breakfast this time and Bobby tries to enjoy it without glancing too much at Hanbin. 

He doesn't succeed.

When breakfast's over and they're all getting ready to go, Bobby stays behind in the kitchen. 

Hanbin's on the balcony, smoking and drinking his coffee, waiting for inspiration to hit.

Bobby actually forgets their little incident when he hears Hanbin thinking of him again. This time in a different way.

_The way his face looks so concentrated when he writes his lyrics.. Or the way his hair shines in the sunlight. His eyes disappearing when I'm near, making room for his stupidly handsome smile-_

Bobby realises that he's Hanbin's biggest muse. 

  
*  
After a decent performance, the guys play rock-paper-scissors over what to do later in the evening. Bobby surprisingly wins. He can't help but look at Hanbin while making his decision.

_He's absolutely breathtaking._

He ends up choosing another movie night.

  
*   
Bobby doesn't want to shower yet, hoping he can use his time wasting skills correctly tonight.

Hanbin ends up sitting next to him on the couch, playing Candy Crush on his phone, both of them idly chatting about how obnoxious Junhoe and Jinhwan are, waiting for the others to arrive with the movie.

Bobby's nestled against Hanbin's side, his body warmth something much more familiar to him now, than it ever was before.

He tries paying attention to the phone but Hanbin's got this ridiculous smile on his face, tongue poking out of his mouth, concentrated on the stupid game, and Bobby can't help but stare at him instead.

When he gets bored of Hanbin not paying attention to him, he grabs the phone out of his hands.

"Not now." 

Hanbin grumbles but the words still come out from a smiling mouth.

"I'm bored. Now tell me, do you want your phone back?"

He swings it in front of Hanbin's face and the other tries snatching it.

Bobby runs from him, bursting into laughter.

  
*  
They've been acting like idiots for almost half an hour.

Hanbin's chasing him through the living room, trying to grab at his hands. Finally he jumps, succeeding and pulling them both down with a thump.

"Surrender!"

Hanbin's got him pinned to the ground, his voice full of laughter.

 Bobby rolls them over.

"Never!" 

He's already out of breath when Hanbin looks at him wickedly and starts a tickle fight.

"Oh you're going down Mr. Bin."

Bobby tosses the phone halfway across the room and starts fighting back.

Hanbin pulls him forward, his fingers going under Bobby's shirt in a harsh attempt at defeating him. He throws his legs haphazardly over his back, pulling him in a tight grip.

"Not if I can help it, Mr. Bob."

Bobby's laugh keeps hiccuping out of him but he tries his best to stay on top. 

They're both exhausted and still giggling when Bobby's hair starts dripping sweat onto Hanbin's face, making him actually look at the way he's flushing a warm tone of pink, his plump lips wet and cherry red as if they've been kissed a thousand times.

He takes notice of how their hips are perfectly aligned. So when Hanbin pushes up, to struggle for freedom, he feels himself shudder.

His eyes keep wondering back to Hanbin's lips and the way his neck is slowly turning the same shade as his cheeks.

"I'm not letting you go. Stop pushing." 

They're both heaving now and Hanbin makes it so much worse -

_What are you gonna do about it?_

Their breaths mingle in a bittersweet fusion of sweat and cherries. 

Jinhwan enters, breaking the spell.

It takes them an unnecessarily long time to react to his presence and Bobby tries not to feel too ashamed. 

Jinhwan doesn't say a thing and Bobby hopes that the situation wasn't as bad as he thinks it was.

_Did we almost kiss or did we almost kiss?_

*

Bobby makes sure to sit next to Hanbin, when the movie credits start, and this time they're both relaxed into it. 

Jinhwan keeps glancing towards them but Bobby doesn't care. Not now when he's finally got time to think for himself.

He keeps flashing back to the morning and Hanbin's soft, almost whisper like, groan. The way Hanbin thought of him in the shower and those god damn fingers.

What bothers him most is the fact that he took advantage of his best friend. His best friends' feelings. And that's never okay. 

He shouldn't encourage Hanbin. He definitely shouldn't have listened to him in the shower. And he should know better than to give in to his basic instincts. 

No one knows about it. But he does and it's eating him up alive.

  
*  
Later when Hanbin's gone showering, Bobby tries to occupy himself with cooking but instead keeps staring out the window, listening in on his thoughts. 

He doesn't notice Jinhwan until he speaks up.

"Spit it out."  

He's got a devilish glint in his eyes and Bobby hopes he won't mention the wrestling incident from before.

Bobby decides to ignore him, taking a sip from his orange juice.

"You two are fucking."

And then he does spit it out.

"What?"

Jinhwan bumps his shoulder in excitement.

"You and Hanbin. Are doing the nasty. I can't believe you didn't tell us!"

Bobby's face must be horrified, he knows it is, but when he sees a glimpse of his reflection, he realises that he looks a little less frightening than he'd hoped. 

"We're not. Why the fuck would you even think that?"

Jinhwan snorts.

"Oh come on. You stared at him so hungrily I wanted to puke."

"We're. Not. Fucking."

Bobby tries his best to sound serious and angry. He thinks he might actually look like an offended puppy.

"Whatever. But Hanbin's had those stupid heart eyes for you for fucking years. And now you have them too."

He grabs the juice from Bobby's hand.

"Maybe you should start fucking. At least consider it."

And then he leaves. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapters a mESS but I really wanted to write and gahh i know hungover writing isnt the greatest idea but this chapters also like.. lighthearted. And the next ones are gonna be a bit more angsty. Okay maybe a lot angsty. We'll see.  
> Also there's probably 2-3 chapters left. Depends on the length and stuff.  
> Hope you like it!


	9. Coconut Skins

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spend your time asking everyone else's permission, then run away and hide

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this chapters super long and angsty but I hope you like it! It's very late so I'll go over any possible mistakes later :)

They end up sleeping together that night.

In a completely innocent way of course. 

Hanbin making an excuse that he's cold and Bobby sighing dramatically, throwing his blankets off for him to join.

It's much more comfortable than the first time. Thankfully Hanbin doesn't think of anything inappropriate. He almost does though, but before he can, he falls asleep.   
  
Bobby stays awake for just a mere minute longer. Hanbin's body heat making him snuggle into him and sigh in complete bliss.

He sees the walls in the darkness and thinks that they're cherry red, knowing they're actually not.

Bobby would like to paint them over though. For some weird reason. 

He lets Hanbin mumble "You're so warm," into his ear and then he's gone. Dreaming of dark hair and red lips that taste like cherries.

  
*  
It all reminds him of being snowed in.

Hanbin's thoughts fall all around him, like blossom white snow and he has to scoop it all up with his red shovel. 

It's like when he was 7 or 8, living in the US with his mom. 

They were broke, so freaking broke, that the school meal was something he actually looked forward to.

But whenever it snowed, his mother would let him stay in. 

His stomach would growl and his knees would shake from the cold, coming in from their old worn down apartment windows.

But it was everything he ever wished for. 

His mother hugging him tight, smelling of fresh laundry detergent and a hint of lavender.

They were snowed in and all Bobby could feel was warmth and love and security.

Hanbin surrounds him on every side. Bringing with him a ton of snow that never leaves and frostbitten fingers. 

He gets chills and goosebumps and sometimes even a fever. But he still likes making snow angels in the blizzard that is Hanbin's mind.

Even though his furnace is far far away.

 

*  
The next night goes almost the same way. 

This time he's the one snuggling Hanbin. 

He's feeling warm, maybe even hot. The blankets are just as thin as they were before but maybe the spicy food they ate is to blame.

Or maybe the fact that Hanbin thought of him in the shower again. Fingers deep, screaming his name while he came. 

Bobby sat on the living room couch, playing video games with Yunhyeong, his face heating up every other second and his hand discreetly pushing down the massive bulge in his pants.

  
*  
Hanbin's warmth is overwhelming. His body's like the sun. Bobby feels like he's getting burned.

He wants to breathe but it's hard, so hard, when his nose is inches away from Hanbin's neck and he can smell the cherries. A warm scent this time, like some sort of mulled cherry wine or something.

Hanbin is already comfortably falling asleep, playing mindlessly with Bobby's hip gripping fingers.

Hanbin's out cold a few minutes later. Bobby relaxes, slowly letting his legs tangle with Hanbins'.

He moves his face just a tiny bit closer. Hanbin's scent is mesmerizing. It's all cherries. 

Cherry blossoms when he's thinking something innocent and all red and ripe when his mind keeps venturing to Bobby in a completely inappropriate way. 

He takes it all in and let's himself be lulled to sleep by Hanbin's breathing. 

  
*  
It's 5.40 am when Bobby wakes up. Used to the smell of cherries and the warmth of Hanbin. 

He remembers that today's the day he meets Joonhe. 

He can't fall asleep again.

  
*  
"What's up your ass today?" 

Donghyuk isn't usually the curious one and Bobby hates that he chose today, out of all days, to turn against him.

"Rather, what was up his ass last night? Am I right Bob?"

He tries shutting Jinhwan up but then Hanbin's already back from the balcony, looking thoroughly confused.

"What's this about asses?"

He looks genuienly puzzled and Bobby doesn't want Jinhwan to ruin his innocence.

The other's already opening his mouth but Bobby speaks first.

"Nothing. Jinhwan's just being an idiot." 

Hanbin nods, still thinking about it and Bobby sighs inwardly when he hears it.

_I can't believe Bobby's crotch was pressed against my ass this morning._

Of course he continues that lovely train of thought. 

_My ass. His crotch. With what seemed like an actual boner. I got my chance and I blew it. How amazing Hanbin._

When Bobby finally looks up again, Jinhwan is smirking at him like he's the one who can mindread.

Bobby grumbles, grabbing his breakfast and moving towards his room.

"Bobby, why so fast? I thought your ass was so-"

He flips him the bird.

Jinhwan laughs what Bobby only imagines to be in victory. He catches himself being actually offended by Jinhwan thinking he'd bottom. Bobby shakes his head, focusing on being angry and not _why_ he's angry.

*

They go for a photoshoot and Hanbin's quite nervous. 

It's Harper's Bazaar after all. 

Bobby tries to calm him down, tracing patterns on his back with his thumb. 

Hanbin tenses up even more and Bobby hopes that Joonhe has some answers cause he can't deal with this any longer. 

  
*  
Bobby gets to pose with Hanbin again. As fun as it is, it's also quite draining.

Hanbin's got his stage persona on and that persona can't stop touching him and flirting with him.

Bobby's known Hanbin for ages. He knows that Hanbin turns into B.I. when they're performing or shooting but this time it really bothers him. 

You'd think he'd gotten used to it by now but there are way less people around them and Hanbin is just too close.

"Honey, you've been sleeping together for some time now. Relax. Embrace Hanbin like you do every night."

Bobby glares at Jinhwan with a look that could kill. Though he can still feel his traitorous cheeks flushing pink.

Both Jinhwan and Junhoe laugh as the real Hanbin makes an appearance.

_Is he really that repulsed by sleeping next to me?_

Bobby's anger dissolves as the camera flashes and takes a picture of two broken boys. 

_Am I that unlovable?_

  
*  
Bobby tries to chat to him later but they're already going for lunch and Hanbin sits the furthest away from him as possible.

He speaks to their manager about skipping the meal but promises to be on time for their next performance. 

Bobby want's to reassure Hanbin that everything's fine. That he's the most beautiful person he's ever met but the thought of only hearing what Hanbin has to say and not think, makes his feet drag him further away from him, closer to the answers.

  
*  
He can still hear Hanbin when he's miles away from him.

It's a constant snow day and Bobby's gotten used to the chills, the goosebumps and his nightly furnace. 

They meet up at a small coffee shop near a working class suburb. 

Joonhe looks more pleasant this time, her outfit much more casual and her eyes warm. 

She waves at him and Bobby runs inside, not even bothering to order. 

The first thing he notices when sitting down is that she's drinking cherry tea.

"Kim Jiwon, right?"

He nods adding, "But everyone calls me Bobby."

She smiles. Bobby feels like this could either go really well or really really badly.

  
*  
Bobby finally orders an espresso, the 5.40 wakings having an effect on him. 

"So I don't want to sound crazy but that's how it is. I looked at you, you told me my fortune and then the next day I could hear my best friends thoughts. Which are actually really inconvenient."

She nods.

"But you have to understand that all I did was give your own wishes a push forward. The rest was up to you."

Bobby's more confused than ever.

  
*  
"So what you're telling me is that you can't fix this?"

_Why do I always manage to get my hopes up? I've known from the start. He's not for me. He's worth so much more._

Across the city Hanbin's probably drinking his coffee in silence, staring out the window, moping. 

"No, I'm sorry."

Bobby grabs his hair in frustration. He had it styled and everything. 

"But-But- There has to be something you can do!" 

He loses the formalities and Joonhe doesn't seem a tad bit surprised. A few elderly ladies stare at them in shock. 

"As I told you, Bobby," 

She pats his shoulder trying to comfort him but not succeeding.

"This is all up to you. What you wished for has roots that go deep inside of you. This all started from your own subconcious. And then moved onto someone else's. I'm sorry."

"I can't go on like this! I'm gonna be stuck forever, don't you get it?"

Joonhe looks at him apologetically.

"He keeps thinking of me-"

He moves a bit closer, now flustered instead of angry.

"-inappropriately. It's not good for either of us."

Joonhe doesn't look surprised at all. It's starting to bother him.

"Bobby, all I told you is to be careful what you wished for. Now please think of why you wished what you did. And when you realise what this really is about, the spell will break."

Bobby wants to cry. 

_I'm gonna paint you by numbers and color you in._

Hanbin is singing in his mind and he sounds sad and broken. Just how Bobby feels.

"If you figure it out, please call me again. Until then, good luck."

"But-but.." 

"Goodbye, Bobby."

And then she's gone, leaving him buried under the snow he just can't seem to shovel anymore.

  
*  
He makes it on time and Hanbin gives him a smile that's way too sad for him to bare.

Just a glance and then he's back to moping. Bobby knows he's trying to act fine but it ain't working.

_Why can't someone come and rip out my heart and tear it to pieces? I don't need this piece of junk anyway._

Bobby gulps as he realises that the cherry tree is going to be stuck in him forever, piling petals and driving him mad. 

And Hanbin's going to be sad forever. And he's going to hear it. 

  
*  
When they're done filming he grabs Hanbin's arm as quickly as possible.

"What-"

"Let's go out. Tonight."

_Is he asking me on a date?_

Bobby ignores the fact that they're standing way too close for comfort even though he really doesn't want Hanbin to smell the cherries on his breath. 

"I mean us seven. Alcohol and women and-"

Hanbin looks at him like a kicked puppy. Wrong wording.

"Just us guys. No women." 

"I- I don't know Bobby. We have to wake up early tomorrow and.."

_I dont want to go. Not with you anyway._

"Please? We don't have to wake up that early." 

Hanbin sighs, eyeing Bobby's comforting thumb on his arm.

"Okay. Go tell the guys."

_I'd do anything for you. You lovable piece of shit._

Bobby smiles brightly and tries to keep it together. 

  
*  
Of course the guys agree. It's not hard to wonder why.

They've worked their asses off these past few months, _years_ , and boys wan't to have fun too.

Chanwoo is their designated driver. Well since he can't drive Yunhyeong decides that he's the designated sober friend.

Everyone laughs and so does Hanbin. It doesn't reach his eyes. 

  
*  
The club is loud and full of people. The V.I.P section, not so much. 

Donghyuk starts by ordering himself a cocktail.

"A cosmopolitan? Really?" 

"Why the fuck not? I love cocktails. Sweet sugary cocktails. Sue me."

Donghyuk sips his drink and shuts Junhoe up. For a second. 

"That's kinda girly. But whatever."

Jinhwan nudges Hanbin with his hip, two vodka shots in his hands. 

Hanbin eyes one of them warily. He looks up at Bobby and down it goes. 

_Stop thinking. Stop thinking._

Bobby agrees.

"Girls have more wit than you, Junhoe. Now shut up and go order something."

Junhoe slaps Jinhwan's arm as he leaves and Bobby decides to tag along with him, Hanbin's nervous twitching driving him mad already.

  
*  
Bobby orders a whole bottle of tequila.

Jinhwan whistles as Yunhyeong tries to make him share.

Hanbin just eyes him with worry. 

_What's gotten into him?_

Bobby wants to scream _you_ but stops in his tracks. 

Chanwoo has got license for  2 sips of whatever drink he chooses. He opts to being an idiot and trying tequila for the first time. 

He spits it right out as they all laugh.

Bobby notices Hanbin ordering himself soju. 

He thinks of how he'll be stuck hearing his thoughts forever. Drunk or not. And he takes a big swig of his own drink, eyeing Hanbin and the pink tips of his ears. 

  
*  
They're out on the dancefloor. 

Him and Hanbin. 

Yunhyeong's disappeared. Bobby thinks he saw him with a bleached blonde moving towards the bathrooms. He's not sure though.

Turns out the alcohol makes it easier for him to tune out Hanbin's thoughts. He laughs as he thinks that he's going to have to become an alcoholic to survive a lifetime of Hanbin.

"What's so funny?"

Hanbin moves closer as the beat slows down a bit.

"Nothing."

Bobby snorts again.

"Everything."

Hanbin is definitely less drunk than he is but Bobby couldn't care less.

He wants to enjoy this. The loudness of the people and the beat of the music, fluttering the blossoms around in his stomach until he feels sick. 

He doesn't even notice his own song coming on. It's a club remix but nevertheless he hollers in joy.

Hanbin jumps up and down screaming Bounce at the top of his lungs.

Bobby wants to scream too but he's somehow stuck staring.

Hanbin's cheeks are flushed and his voice is almost gone but he looks so happy Bobby want's to pinch himself. What happened to the misery ridden Hanbin who wouldn't stop pining?

_Why is he staring at me?_

Bobby's drunk enough to not care about Hanbin's thoughts for once. He grabs him closer, rapping in his ear and holding back the giggles that are bound to burst out of him.

He can hear Hanbin's breath hitch and feel the way his hand's shake on his hips. 

He looks at him and the way his blotchy neck is glistening with sweat. The lights flicker deliciously in his eyes.

He knows he's gone crazy but what the heck. He's gonna be stuck like this for-fucking-ever. Why not give Hanbin a little taste. Make his thoughts turn into a blissful blizzard again. 

  
*

The song changes soon and Bobby's tuned Hanbin out completely. Enjoying his body heat and nothing else.

He's heard this song before. It's nothing he'll remember but it's great for dancing. 

It's perfect for grabbing Hanbin close to him, turning him around and sliding their sweaty bodies against each other.

Hanbin's ass is round and soft and just perfect for Bobby to grind into. He can hear Hanbin's shaky breaths and the way a soft moan escapes his lips. 

The lights in the club turn dark red as Bobby grabs him by the waist, pulling Hanbin's torso even closer to him. His lungs are being crushed but it's too late to step back. He breathes heavily into Hanbin's ear, his hands tracing smooth circles over the others' chest. 

Bobby takes note that Hanbin's nipples are hard. And then he realises his own are too.

_-Harder, faster FUCK_

A bead of sweat makes its way down Hanbin's neck and Bobby fights the urge to lick it. He remembers fingers and moans and play wrestling turning into something similar to this. 

He catches Jinhwan staring at them from the VIP balcony, smirking into his drink. 

The song ends and Bobby feels like he just stepped out of a cherry cloud. He feels dizzy when he notices his bulge pushing into Hanbin.

He excuses himself, giving one last glance at Hanbin, laughing it all off.

The lights still flicker in his eyes but this time they seem much more empty than they've ever been before.

  
*  
He meets a petite brunette at the bar. She definitely knows who he is and Bobby's pretty sure he wants to know who she is as well.

He can faintly hear Hanbin thinking, remembering the dance. He blocks it out.

  
*  
He ends up talking to her for a bit until they step onto the dancefloor. She moves his hips with finesse that wasn't there with Hanbin. 

Bobby approves of it.

He's tired and sweaty and she smells nice, like lilys. 

He licks the sweat bead off her neck. She tastes nothing like cherries. 

  
*  
He takes her up to the VIP lounge. Junhoe and Jinhwan are drunk off their asses, dancing to the new beat.

Chanwoo's sitting in the corner, his phone buzzing in his lap. 

Yunhyeong's flirting with another girl as Donghyuk stands near their table, moving his hips to the beat, not even noticing who's around and who isn't.

His eyes search for Hanbin as his tongue keeps tracing patterns along her neck. 

He sees him walk back from the bar with a shot of vodka in his hands.

He tries to hear what Hanbin thinks for a minute. Then he realises he's not thinking at all.

  
*  
Jinhwan's giving him a nasty glare as he shares the last remains of his tequila with her. She told him her name a bunch of times but he can't remember.

He thinks it sounds similar to Hanbin's. He's not sure.

Hanbin's still not thinking. When he does Bobby doesn't catch it at all. 

His thoughts are quiet and fleeting and Bobby's too drunk to hear them. Too drunk to focus and care.

They finish his tequila pretty quickly.

"I won't be home tonight, just so you know."

He nuzzles into the girls' neck. It's not sweaty anymore but still smells nothing like cherries. 

He can smell them though, when he looks at Hanbin. 

"Take care!" Yunhyeong suddenly yells from the bar and Donghyuk just waves him goodbye.

Chanwoo stares at Jinhwan and then at Hanbin. His gaze doesn't meet his.

Bobby turns his back, putting his hand on her ass and squeezing it as a soft voice calls out.

"Please be back by the morning. We have a schedule."

Bobby doesn't want to nor have to look back, to know who's voice that is.

  
*  
The ride to her apartment is full of heated kisses and soft whimpers. Hands between thighs and in boxer shorts.

Her flat is small but cozy. They push over a lampshade and she just laughs, too busy nipping at his neck.

Before he can enter her bedroom, she asks him to wait a minute. He stands behind the door, pushing his fingers through his hair and smoothing out his shirt.

For the first time since they left, Bobby's not being carried away by the heat of the moment. 

He discovers that being drunk tunes out Hanbin's thoughts but not his own. And they can't seem to stop revolving around him.

  
*  
She pulls him in a few minutes later. The room is dark, save for the small light coming from her nightstand and he stops to make out her shape.

She's gorgeous. Breathtaking. The curves of her body illustrated by the red lingerie she's put on.

Bobby swallows hard at the thought of red. He hates the way Hanbin and red go hand in hand now. 

She grabs his hands and puts them on her hips. He flashes back to Hanbin and the way his hipbones felt under his fingertips.

She pushes him down, throwing his jacket on the ground, sitting on top of him.

Hanbin. Filling his vision with cherries and wide smiles. 

She starts unbuttoning his shirt, kissing her way down. 

Bobby notices that he's shaking.

Hanbin in the shower. His slender fingers pushing inside. Groaning his name.

He feels himself jerk in his boxers and she laughs. It sounds way too light, too airy. Not at all like Hanbin. The way he sometimes snorts in the middle of laughing and then blushes in embarrassment, still not able to hold himself together.

Her lips are on his abdomen now. The room smells like lilys but Bobby can still feel himself reeking of cherry. 

She licks a line down his navel, teasing.

He thinks of Hanbin's big hands on his stomach, making him shiver.

  
*  
Her lips are on his cock. His mind is on Hanbin. 

Where she is slender, he's bulky. Where she's too sweet, he'd be rough. 

Her eyes are too narrow and her cheeks too pale. Not sunkissed enough. Not flushing.

Her neck is blotchy but from his kisses. Big taunting hickeys on her short neck. Reminding him of dried up cherries.

The blossoms in his stomach flutter as he thinks of long fingers again. 

His hips jerk into her warmth. 

Her fingers are heated, making him miss cold jabs in his ribcage. All he wants is to soak up the sun. 

He comes, chanting s _unkissed_ into her hair, the cum on his navel reminding him of white cherry blossoms again.

He kisses her once and then he's gone, heart pounding in his chest, the tree roots sucking out all the blood from his already dried veins.

  
*  
He makes it back not even checking the clock. It's 5.40 am. 

He's shaking heavily when he opens the door to their room. Hanbin's not there.

No one's there. 

He sits down panic rising in his gut. He feels so guilty. He just wants to tell Hanbin sorry. Apologize for evertyhing he did. 

And then he hears the bathroom door open.

Out comes a red-eyed Hanbin and Bobby doesn't notice himself choke on his own tears. 

"B-Bobby?"

He tries to hear Hanbin think but it doesn't happen. He's so confused and he just wants to apologize.

"I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. Please forgive me."

He's suddenly standing in front of Hanbin, his legs starting to give out on him.

Hanbin doesn't look him in the eyes and Bobby forces away the tears in his own.

"I'm sorry I took advantage of you. I'm sorry for everything. Please just please-"

He grabs Hanbin and sobs into his shoulder.

Hanbin's arms don't go around him.

"Calm down. I forgive you for everything that you did and didn't do. Now let's go to bed, alright?"

Bobby doesn't want to let go so he nods, head bumping into his jaw, breathing in the awfully familiar scent of cherries and feeling how Hanbin's pulse vibrates in his neck.

  
*  
He puts Bobby down and starts moving towards his own bed.

Bobby's stopped crying but a whimper still comes out.

"Please."

He's whispering and thinks Hanbin didn't hear it. But he's there in a minute. 

Bobby doesn't know which one of them takes his clothes off but he does know who's cold hands are on his waist.

"I'm so sorry. So, so, sorry."

He turns to face Hanbin. He isn't looking at him. Bobby snuggles closer, his nose burying itself in the crook of his neck.

He falls asleep to the fading scent of cherries. 

  
*  
He wakes up at 10 pm to an empty bed. 

Bobby's never missed the scent of cherries so badly in his whole life. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapters' probably gonna be the last one!! If you didnt get the last part of this chapter then I think, not sure though, that it'll be explained in the next chap.  
> Hope you like it!


	10. Cherry Blossoms

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's not that we're scared  
> It's just that it's delicate

He wakes up to the sound of silence.

Bobby thinks back to the way the sun rose in Hanbin's eyes. He thinks it's setting in his own.

*  
No one's there and Bobby takes his time thinking about last night. 

He can't smell the cherries but he can still feel that tree inside of him, dying, withering away and draining him from blood with it's last breaths. 

He remembers the way his arms were around Hanbin. The way his cherry red lips looked in the darkness of the club. 

The way he stared at Bobby when they stopped dancing. And the way he left him standing there. 

He remembers the girl. Her sweet laugh echoing in his ears reminding him more of a nightmare than reality. 

Her soft hands on his sculptured abs. Her lips on him and his body shaking with the sound of Hanbin's name.

He stares at the ceiling. The cracks reminding him of white cherry blossoms.

And then he remembers all those dreams.

The first night he had a dream about Hanbin. They were sitting on a pink cloud, Hanbin smelling of that cherry hair gel he used only on important occasions. His fingertips burnt with cigarettes but still soft when they touched his cheeks.

He remembers waking up to the never ending scent of cherries.

Remembers the way Hanbin fell in love with him, on the couch. And the way he's always been just a tiny bit in love with Hanbin. Only in his subconscious. Only in his dreams.

But now in reality. 

He's in love with Hanbin. It's been budding in him for ages. The petals in his stomach piling and piling and dropping seeds. Growing a tree inside of him that screamed Hanbin's name.

Bobby wonders if the dying tree has their initials carved on it's trunk.

He remembers Joonhe's words. He remembers everything but especially the look in Hanbin's eyes last night. The look of someone falling _out_ of love.

*  
He stumbles out of bed a half an hour later, eyes red and hands shaking.

He takes a shower. The image of Hanbin and his god damn fingers burning his eyelids from the insides.

He eats breakfast alone in the silence of their kitchen. There was a tiny handwritten note on one of the cereal boxes. He thinks it was Donghyuk's hungover handwriting but he's not sure.

It said that they're going to be back around 10.

It's starting to turn 11. Bobby thinks Hanbin's keeping them in dance practice just to ignore him.

He looks out on the balcony. No one's there and Bobby grabs a cigarette just for the smell of it.

He sits there smoking until his cheeks are rosy and his toes numb from the cold.

Then he hears them coming back. He loses the ability to breathe.

  
*  
Yunhyeong and Donghyuk stumble into the living room laughing about something Chanwoo did. The other looks just a tiny bit upset while he tries arguing back. 

Junhoe walks in silently. He looks at Bobby once, sighs, and then leaves for his room.

Hanbin and Jinhwan enter together. The latter's hands on Hanbin's lower back.

Bobby feels a twinge of jealousy starting to form in the pit of his stomach. 

Hanbin doesn't look at him, not even when he asks about their day.

"Why didn't you wake me up?" 

He's strolling towards them when Jinhwan steps protectively in front of their leader. 

"Cause you were drunk off your ass. Besides, Hanbin knew best than to try and wake up hungover Bobby."

He jokes but Bobby can see the cold in his eyes. He thinks it might be even colder in Hanbin's eyes, his gaze giving him frostbite if it'd just look at him. 

"I'm not hungover. Like at all."

Hanbin is still standing there, eyes turned to the ground, lips in a tight line. 

"Whatever you say, prince Bob. But you do have disgusting hickey's on your neck so, please go cover them up."

Bobby forgot about that. And it's too late now cause Hanbin is looking up, startled. He probably didn't  notice them last night or if he did, he couldn't stare at them properly.

Bobby feels his heart lurch at the way Hanbin gives him a once over. His eyes staying put on Bobby's neck but never moving past it to his eyes.

He whispers something in Jinhwan's ear and then he's gone. 

Bobby doesn't notice Jinhwan closing in on him.

"Fix this. Or so help me god Bob-"

He jabs a finger at him.

"- I will slice your throat."

Bobby stutters for a second before whispering the truth.

"I don't know how to fix this."

"Well then figure it out. You knew exactly how he felt about you and still you went and broke his heart. God damn it Kimbap!"

Jinhwan's raising his voice a little and Bobby feels like fighting back. He knows he doesn't deserve defending himself though.

"I know." 

Jinhwan sighs deeply, patting his shoulder.

"Look. I don't hate you. Okay maybe a little bit. But I wan't both of you to be happy and you broke him, Bobby. I've never seen him like this. Ever. Not even when he first started pining after you."

Bobby gapes but before he can say anything Jinhwan's continuing.

"Not even when you brought home that picture of Sandara Park. Not when you made rude comments to that noona during our shooting. Not even when you went out with that noona."

He doesn't know what to say anymore. He wants to hear Hanbin so badly. Singing in his mind or thinking of new lyrics. Or having long debates about blue cheese. Anything would do. He can't stand the silence in his mind and all around him. 

"And i've never seen you so fucking in love either Bobby. Your heart eyes are on another level. I don't know why you've been acting like an idiot but just fix this, okay? I'm rooting for you. We're all rooting for you."

He steps back and Bobby hears two pairs of feet scramble towards the kitchen. Probably Yunhyeong and Donghyuk.

Then he sees a pair of sad puppy eyes still watching him. Chanwoo looks even sadder than he is and Bobby feels shitty for not paying attention to anyone else but himself, his selfish feelings and denying them.

Chanwoo mouths 'you can do it' and Bobby smiles his most brightest smile. It probably comes out miserable, deciding on Chanwoo's wince. 

He gives him a thumb up though and Bobby flies an over the top kiss towards him. Chanwoo chokes on a laugh and then he's gone.

Leaving Bobby alone with his thoughts again.

  
*  
He can't sleep. He's had the whole day to sleep so when everyone goes to bed Bobby stays up. 

He wen't to the kitchen earlier. Stomach grumbling but he just couldn't eat.

And then he heard low whispers from Junhoe's room.

He didn't want to pry but it sounded like Hanbin was there too. He's gotten way too used to searching out his voice from the crowd.

They were talking about switching the rooms back. Bobby's cherry yogurt was left half eaten on the kitchen counter. 

*

  
Jinhwan didn't accept Hanbin's request. Even when he probably pleaded and then used his 'im the leader' card. 

Those are just guesses though. Cause when he enters their bedroom, late into the night, Hanbin's already sound asleep.

He sees a notebook clutched to his heart and Bobby wants to pry it out of his grip, read the heartbroken lines scribbled in there but he doesn't. 

He just sits quietly on his bed. Staring at Hanbin and then at the ceiling. Trying to remember the smell of cherries.

*  
He ends up sleeping for just two hours. Waking up to the sound of Hanbin's quiet sobs. He doesn't know if he's crying in his sleep or not. He doesn't really want to know.

When Hanbin's out of the room Bobby decides to follow after him. 

He catches him on the balcony. Sun rising in his empty eyes. 

He pushes down the urge to be sunburned and walks towards the balcony door, staring at the way Hanbin's cigarette dangles between his lips.

*  
"Mornin,"

His voice still sounds sleepy. Hanbin doesn't even look at him, the cigarette crushed between his fingers.

"I'm busy."

Bobby sighs as Hanbin's arms cross and his eyes turn cold again. 

"We need to talk."

"There's nothing to talk about Bobby. Go back to bed."

He flicks the ash on the ground, his bare feet being covered by it. Bobby feels one of the specks getting stuck in his eyelashes. He doesn't mind. 

"Hanbin. Please look at me."

He does, for just a nanosecond. Bobby feels the petals in his stomach being swept up by the wind, turning into ashes. 

Hanbin turns his gaze back to the sunrise. 

"I know you're in love with me Hanbin."

There's a slight gulp and Bobby thinks that's the sound of Hanbin swallowing the lump in his throat.

"Who said I was?" 

Bobby wants to scream _you_ but stays quiet instead.

"I just know Hanbin. And I-I'm-"

He pushes the hair out of his face. The sun is actually burning him this time, his cheeks flushing and his pulse rising in anticipation.

"-I'm in love with you too."

Hanbin stands still. Bobby can't read him at all and if the stars were out, he'd wish on a falling one, hoping that just for this one moment, he could hear Hanbin think again.

"Well, that's too bad. Cause I've never been in love with you and I never will be."

Bobby wants to throw up the ashes in his stomach, while the sun eats him up alive.

*

A week goes by like that.

Jinhwan scorning him with his stares and everyone else just avoiding the topic. Especially Hanbin.

Who spends most of his time in the studio. Bobby doesn't have to be a genius to know that he's probably produced about 700 break up songs by now. 

They're in dance practice and Hanbin's as cold as ever. He keeps nitpicking on everybody and ignoring Bobby. 

Junhoe looks like he's about to blow. And then he does.

"God damn it Hanbin! I don't care how fucking heartbroken you are, you can't treat us like shit!"

Hanbin's mouth falls open and then closes again. Bobby would laugh and joke about it but this it's not the right time. It'll probably never be. 

"Junhoe. Shut up."

Hanbin tries pushing forward again but Junhoe's still fuming.

And then he looks at Bobby.

"And you! Stop moping! God damn it both of you, just stop! Talk it out. I can't stand hearing you both cry in the bathroom."

Bobby steals a glance at Hanbin. He's staring at the ground, fingers gripping his sweatpants tightly. 

Bobby doesn't look much better.

"And I'm not switching back Hanbin. Talk it out cause it's getting annoying and I want to train in peace."

Silence cuts through the room until Yunhyeong starts laughing. 

Junhoe stares at him in wonder. Hanbin in disgust. 

Then Donghyuk joins in, with Jinhwan bursting into giggles a few seconds later. Chanwoo's with them in a heartbeat, sounding a little bit more manic.

Bobby hears himself choke on a mixture of his own tears and laughter.

Hanbin just stares at them before walking out. They keep laughing until the lights get turned off.

*  
When they get back home later that night, Bobby's cornered by Jinhwan again.

This time he seems much more apologetic.

"Still?"

They're sitting on the balcony. Neither of them smoking.

"Yeah."

Jinhwan grabs his hair in frustration. 

"I've been trying to talk to him too but-"

"I know. He keeps blocking everyone out Jinhwan. I'm not the only one."

He smiles, knowing that it doesn't look like a smile at all. 

Junhoe enters with a cup of cocoa in his hands. He gives one to Jinhwan. Then grabs another for himself.

Bobby gives him a look. 

"What about me?"

Junhoe takes a sip, a line of cocoa drying on his upper lip, while he talks.

"Not until you fix this."

Bobby groans.

"No cocoa for you Glen Coco." 

Jinhwan makes them all laugh again, the starry night sky seeming a bit brighter than it has been for a long time. 

*  
Bobby finds himself using Hanbin's hair gel. The cherry one.

He takes it whenever Hanbin's out and revels in the smell of cherries. Reminding him of all the nights he's whiffed it on Hanbin. The back of his sunkissed neck soft and smooth. 

Hanbin doesn't notice at first but when he does, he doesn't say a thing.

They keep living in complete silence. And Bobby sees the cracks on their ceiling slowly appearing on Hanbin's beautiful skin.

*  
It's a Wednesday night. Hanbin's in the studio and Bobby's sulking in the living room. 

Remembering the girl smelling of lilys and Hanbin's body warmth. He squirms. 

The guys come bouncing in, Yunhyeong landing on his lap and Chanwoo with his head on his shoulder.

It looks like they're trying to comfort him but Bobby knows it's something else. He can sense the plan they've been hatching. He can see the small smirk on Donghyuk's lips.

They keep staring at the TV until he surrenders.

"Tell me."

Junhoe grabs a handful of chips from Jinhwans small bag. The older one groans giving him a smack on the head.

"We have a plan."

Jinhwan's breath smells like sour cream and onions even while he's sitting two feet away. Bobby wonders how many bags they've eaten.

"I know that, you dumbass. What is it?"

Chanwoo wiggles his eyebrows at him as Jinhwan starts talking.

*  
The next day he wakes up with a flutter in his stomach. He knows the tree's still there. Slowly but surely rotting inside of him.

He wants to gag at the image. He wonders if the feeling will ever leave. He'd take the cherry smell over this anytime.

Hanbin wakes up early as usual. Bobby wonders if their plan will work.

It's a day off. Hanbin's probably going to the studio to pine and mope. He's so predictable.

As he hears the shower turn on, he grabs his phone.

There's a million texts from their group chat. Bobby smothers a laugh at it's name.

'Mission Impossible : Gettin Bobby that D' 

Hanbin enters a few minutes later and Bobby hopes his face isn't red by Junhoe's crude message, saying he bets 10 000 wons on Bobby bottoming instead of Hanbin. Jinhwan had took him on that bet as Bobby tried blackmailing them with a picture of Jinhwan drooling on Junhoe's shoulder. It didn't work out.

*  
Bobby enters the studio quietly. Yunhyeong's behind him. He pushes the door closed with a loud thump, key turning in it's hole. 

Hanbin startles and looks up from the screen. His lips are back to a tight line.

Bobby tries smiling, he thinks it might look awkward. 

He's wearing a turtleneck. The hickeys have faded but he still feels like Hanbin can see them there. 

"Do you have something you need? Cause if not, you can see I'm working."

Hanbin's staring at his computer screen again, hand tightly squeezed around the mouse.

"We have to talk Hanbin. We _need_ to talk."

Hanbin laughs. It sounds broken and not at all like him. Bobby feels himself startle. 

"We have nothing to talk about Bobby. Don't you get it?" 

Hanbin's looking at him now. Bobby never wants to see that emotion in his eyes again. 

His sunkissed skin is flushed red but with anger. And disappointment.

"Hanbin, I fucked up." 

He's walking closer now. Hanbin's wound up tighter than ever. 

He lets out another shrill laugh. Bobby winces. 

"Yeah, you did. But that's none of my business Bobby. I don't care who you fuck or where you fuck. We're just friends. Nothing else."

Bobby stays completely still. The studio is so quiet and he can hear his own heartbeat pounding in his ears. He knows Hanbins' is probably too. This time they have no one to deafen but themselves.

"But don't you want us to be?"

He hears the shakiness in his own voice. 

Hanbin's eyes falter for a second. He stares at the keyboard and then at his notebook.

"Bobby. Please go."

It's almost inaudible. Even in the silence of the studio.

"I don't want to go. I never want to leave your side Hanbin."

"But you did. Not once. Not twice. Many many times Bobby. And I'm done caring."

Hanbin's staring at him. Bobby doesn't notice cause his eyes are filled with tears. He tries to blink them away.

"I'm so fucking in love with you Hanbin. I'm so fucking in love with you."

He hears himself repeating it several times. He loses count after the fourth time. 

Hanbin swallows hard. 

"I was too Bobby. I was too."

He can hear the tree that was slowly coming back to life, breaking inside of him. The roots squeezing his heart so tight he thinks it's taking him with it.  
  
Hanbin stands up to leave. Bobby sees his song still open and he knows Hanbin would never ever leave his work unsaved. He swallows the lump in his own throat.

"Please don't go. I'm sorry."

Hanbin's standing inches away from him now. His eyes dart to his lips for just a second. And then they're hiding behind the iron wall again. 

"Let me leave Bobby. I can't do this."

He knows the guys locked the door from the outside. He knows he has a key. He knows they made him promise not to open it before all was sorted out. He still does.

*  
A few seconds pass and Bobby can't see nothing. The blur of his tears too blinding, too hot. 

He thinks of the blizzards and the sun. He thinks of a furnace. He thinks of how he's freezing to death. He thinks of the blossoms and the cherries and the way Hanbin couldn't take his eyes off of him for years. And how he still can't. 

He runs after him.

*  
The guys are waiting at the dorm. He knows they are and he knows Hanbin's not going there. 

He runs through the cold and through the snow. He thinks he might be crying cherry blossoms. It's all a daze.

Hanbin's not far away. He's there. Standing near a street lamp, hands balled into fists. 

Bobby slows down, his breath hitching in his throat.

"Hanbin,"

The other doesn't turn around. 

Everything feels as if it's in slow motion. His feet are worn down by heavy sandbags but he gets there. 

"Bobby, I can't- I can't-"

Hanbin finally turns to him and Bobby tries to breathe. He still looks beautiful. Even with tears covering his red face and Bobby takes it in. The way his cheekbones glow under the purple neon light of a supermarket. The way his eyelashes flutter in bitter desperation.

He grabs his hand. 

Hanbin looks at it, like it's something he's never felt or seen before. 

"Bobby, please don't do this to me." 

He wipes his runny nose on one of his sleeves and Bobby finds it absolutely endearing. 

"It was a mistake Hanbin. A stupid fucking mistake. But it made me realise how much I fucking love you. How much I want to be with you."

Hanbin still doesn't look at him. 

Bobby sniffles and catches the tiniest scent of cherries in the air. 

"I want to wake up to you every morning, you idiot. I want to watch the sun rise in your eyes. I want to count stars with you. I want to make fun of Chanwoo with you,"

Hanbin chokes on a laugh, tears still falling from his eyes.

"I want to grow old with you Hanbin." 

At that he looks up. His eyes watery and sincere. Bobby wants to kiss him until his heart stops beating.

"I fucking love you. "

Hanbin looks a bit hesitant. Bobby can't hold the urge in anymore and he wipes the tears from his face with his thumb. Hanbin looks like he's trying to keep the smile off his face.

"I might act stupid and reckless and like an idiot half of the time, but this idiot still loves you. And i'll fucking wait for you. I'll wait for you, if you need time. But we've both wasted too much of it."

Hanbin smiles, still sniffling. 

"Are you sure? Cause I can't-"

"Yes. I'm sure. I'm so fucking sure."

He grabs him by the nape and connects their chapped lips.

Hanbin tastes like salt and Dr. Pepper. Bobby wants to chase it forever.

And he smells like cherries. The remains of the gel still stuck to his soft hair. 

Bobby slides his tongue over his red lips and thinks this is how life is supposed to be like. This is how he's supposed to feel like.

Alive. 

*  
The kiss ends and Bobby sees the sun rise in Hanbin's eyes again. 

The petals in his stomach turn into regular butterflies and the tree lets go of his stupid heart. It was about time. 

Hanbin smiles at him, wide and bright and Bobby slides his tongue over his teeth just cause he can.

Hanbin smacks him but still brings their foreheads together. Bobby's filled with butterflies and his face covered with butterfly kisses. 

"Do you smell cherries?"

Bobby laughs out loud, nodding. He breathes it in for the last time.

"Let's go home?"

"Yeah."

He grabs Hanbin's hand in his own, his cold fingers warm this time. Bobby soaks up the sun like never before.

*  
"Wait, I didn't save my work!"

"Shut up. The studio won't disappear."

"Okay, fine."

Slight hesitation.

"But you won't either..?"

"No. I won't."

And then there's laughter that sounds like a blizzard of cherry blossoms on a sunny afternoon, filling him up with nothing but love. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... this is it!  
> This is the longest thing I've ever written in english but you guys are all so warm and welcoming and encouraged me a lot to continue on. I'm honestly sad I finished this already but also.. it took me like 3 (4??) weeks to write something this short so like.. I cant even imagine how long it'd take me to write something longer. BUT I have ideas already for other stories. Long stories. Again. But that's just gonna have to wait a while.  
> I'm so thankful to everyone who read this loved this and commented! I hope you guys like it.  
> Viva Double B! Peace out ya'll! <3
> 
> By the way check out this awesome photoshop art inspired by Cherry Blossoms! A big thanks to xdallas for making them <3  
> http://xdallas.deviantart.com/art/Cherry-Blossom-Hanbin-597150032  
> http://img10.deviantart.net/bdd3/i/2016/077/e/c/cherry_blossoms_bobby_by_xdallas-d9vizah.jpg
> 
> This fic is also crossposted on AFF! So you can leave kudos there too.. Just kidding!


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